Misery
by The Original Horcrux
Summary: "Well if you don't want to do that, then it's entirely up to you. I don't mind living without children, Lavender, but as long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you it'll make it all worth it."


_I am in misery; there ain't nobody who can comfort me oh yeah. Why won't you answer me? The silence is slowly killing me. Oh yeah. _~ Maroon 5

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Misery

"Lavender?" Seamus said, knocking on the door to their bedroom.

"Go away."

"Please talk to me."

"I said _go away_." Lavender insisted.

"At least tell me what's wrong." Seamus said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wooden door. There was a pattering of feet on the ground from inside and the door creaked open, revealing Lavender's puffy red eyes and scarred face. "Hey, why are you crying?"

Lavender pointed furiously at the wastepaper basket in the corner and Seamus sighed, knowing exactly what had just happened. "Again?" he asked. Lavender nodded tearfully and turned her back to him.

"Hey," Seamus said, hugging her from behind and planting a soft kiss on her cheek, "don't cry, we can try again, it'll be alright."

Lavender pushed Seamus away quite forcefully, her eyes blazing with anger. "Why can't you see it Seamus?!" she yelled.

"See what?" Seamus said, evidently confused as to why his wife had lost her temper at him when he was trying to comfort her.

"I can't have kids." Lavender said, throwing her arms up in the air dramatically, "We can't ever have kids, never."

"Don't think like that." Seamus said sympathetically, moving across to hug Lavender again. "We can have them."

Lavender pushed Seamus away again, "Seamus I think it would be best if I left you." She said tearfully.

"What? Why?" Seamus said, confused and a little bit hurt at this statement.

"I'll just pack up my stuff and leave." She said, tears welling in her big brown eyes as she ran out of the room and down the stairs, probably to start packing.

"Lavender, please stop and think about this." Seamus said following her down the stairs. "Why don't you want to stay with me? I love you and I thought you loved me back. That's why we got married, that's why we want to have kids. Why in the world do you want to break up with me and please god, give me a good reason or I don't think I'll be able to live with myself."

"Because you want kids!" Lavender yelled, turning around on the stairs and bringing both of her hands down on the railings on either side of her. "You have always wanted kids, ever since you were a kid…" she said, tears brimming over her eyes.

"Lavender-"

"And I can't have them!" she finished, turning around and sitting down on the stairs, hiding her face in her hands. Seamus sighed sympathetically, trying hard to restrain tears of his own. He moved slowly down the stairs towards Lavender's shaking form. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her body.

"It's okay." Seamus whispered, "It's alright. I don't care that you can't have children, I love you and that's all that matters."

"You're lying." Lavender whispered into her hands as she leaned into Seamus' side. "You want kids so badly."

Seamus didn't bother to correct her because he knew that her words were the truth and so did she.

"Greyback did something to me in the battle, and I don't know what it was but I know that that's the reason that I can't have children." Lavender whispered.

"Hey, you don't know that for sure. It mightn't be because of that." Seamus tried. He knew how sensitive Lavender was about the attack that she had suffered at the hands of Frenrir Greyback six years ago.

"I do." Lavender whispered, looking up at Seamus with red, puffy eyes. "I've never told anyone this before."

"What?" Seamus asked.

Lavender took a deep, shaky breath. "Do you remember when we started dating in seventh year while we were all hiding out in the room of requirement?"

Seamus nodded.

"And we slept together about a month before Harry came back."

Seamus nodded again as Lavender blushed.

"Well… I was going to tell you Seamus, but then Harry came back and the battle started and everything went haywire and I got attacked and I lost it."

"So you're meaning to tell me that I got you pregnant when we were at Hogwarts?" Seamus said slowly.

Lavender nodded tearfully, "I was going to tell you once everyone had gone to sleep on the night that Harry turned up, but I didn't get the chance. By the time I spoke to you again I had miscarried. It was the attack from Greyback that did it and I haven't been able to get pregnant since."

Seamus didn't know what to say, so he just drew her into a hug and let her sob into his chest for a while. He didn't know what to think. He wasn't glad and he wasn't upset that Lavender had seemingly lost her fertility after her attack with Greyback. He didn't know anything about female werewolves – because Lavender was most definitely a werewolf now, despite the fact that she hadn't been bitten at the full moon – he knew that Remus Lupin had been able to have a child, but he had been a male. What if a werewolf bite killed off a woman's reproductive organs? He didn't know. It was a mystery with Lavender; the healers at St. Mungo's were still trying to work out how Greyback had managed to turn her into a fully-fledged werewolf without being transformed.

"Lavender," He whispered to her, "while you not being able to have children isn't very ideal for me… and my parents, it doesn't make me love you any less."

Lavender sniffed and looked up at him hopefully.

"There are other options you know, we could adopt, we could use a surrogate, an in vitro potion." Seamus suggested.

"It's too expensive; we'd never be able to afford it." Lavender said, shaking her head

"Well if you don't want to do that, then it's entirely up to you. I don't mind living without children, Lavender, but as long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you it'll make it all worth it."

Lavender shook her head, "I can't live knowing that I couldn't give you what you wanted."

"The most important thing is Lavender; did you want them as well?" Seamus said, "You can't just live your life to please me, I want you to live to please yourself as well."

"I did," Lavender said, tears making their way down her cheeks again, "I really did. I want to be a mother more than anything else in the world."

"Then we'll keep trying." Seamus said, "If you want to that is. I don't mind spending money on adoption or anything else. If you want to be a mother, then I will do anything within my power to get you a child."

"You would really do that for me?" Lavender said.

"I love you." Seamus said simply, "We will be parents Lavender. You'd better believe it."

"What if we aren't?" Lavender said timidly, "what if nothing works?"

"Do you trust me Lavender?" Seamus asked, standing up and offering her his hand.

"Yes." Lavender said, accepting it and he pulled her to her feet, "with my life."

"Then it'll work." Seamus winked. "I'll make sure of it."

All Lavender could manage was to kiss him. Seamus kissed her back lovingly. He loved this woman so much and if having their child meant giving up their life's savings, he would do it. The two of them loved each other and they would both go to the ends of the earth to get their baby. Seamus could only hope that in the end it would be worth it.

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**AN:** **I'm in an angsty mood because of today's episode of Doctor Who so sorry that this was so depressing.**

**Anyway, this one was for.**

**The Chinese Moon Festival Competition: Sacrifice Slice**

**The Pairing Diversity Bootcamp – Prompt #27: Never**

**The Maroon 5 Competition with the song **_**Misery**_

**The Hogwarts Games: Running**

**I'd love it if you could leave me a review**

**Potter on**

**~The Original Horcrux~**


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